Module 8: What is Love?

Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“.  Example:  If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”,  “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.

 Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!

Do you remember how it felt when you fell in love? Do you remember the first time you met that special someone and couldn’t get the person out of your mind?

Falling in love is an intense yet delightful feeling. The butterflies in the stomach, the excitement of the new relationship, the constant uncertainty, and the willingness to become a better person. Your playlist gets populated with romantic songs, the meanings behind movies change, the world suddenly becomes a better place, and you just can’t stop daydreaming. Love is indeed a wonderful feeling.

But what happens after you fall in love? What happens when the phase of butterflies and candlelight dinners conclude, and you go back to your routine lives? Does everything still stay the same?

No, things change. And not everyone is willing to welcome this change with open arms.

The initial few months of every relationship are divine. When someone gets into a fresh new relationship, they stay on their toes to do things for one another. But eventually, this pattern breaks.  After a few months/years in a relationship, as people become vocal and assertive about their needs, people start noticing their differences.

They start forgetting why they fell in love with the person in the first place. The relationship that used to be a source of happiness, the face that used to light up their day, starts becoming a source of pain and sorrow.

Is this the story of every relationship?

The good news is no. It’s not.

Falling in love doesn’t require much effort. But staying in love and making any relationship work requires constant work. This relationship can be the relationship between friends, family, spouses, etc.

So, what exactly is love?

Love gives you the feeling of belongingness. It gives you the heavenly feeling of being wanted by someone. When you are in a loving relationship, you feel that your needs matter, you feel cared for and most importantly you feel safe. But being in love is not enough. Just like we require food and water to survive, a relationship also requires constant and consistent expression of love to not only survive but to thrive. Hence, expressing love is a crucial part of any relationship.

So how do you express your love for someone?

The good news is, while staying in love requires constant effort, expressing love does not. With the help of simple acts, people can express love for one another and transform their relationship. Here are a few ways which will help express your love for someone.

Complimenting each other

One way to show love and affection is to complement. “You are looking lovely in that dress”, “That suit really suits you”, “Today’s meal is extremely delicious”, “Your new haircut looks great”. When you compliment someone, you tell them that you appreciate them which makes them feel wanted.

Doing things for each other

Another way of expressing love is by doing things for one another. Cooking for each other, taking turns for taking care of kids, helping each other with daily chores and being a helping hand when your loved one is in crisis can help you strengthen the bond. 

Listening

Listening is another way of expressing your love. But not just listening, we are talking about undivided attention. Spending only 20-30 minutes with your loved ones, talking, letting them know about your day, discussing your past, your future plans, etc. can help you boost your relationship. If you are not someone who likes to share much, you can make a list of things that you are comfortable to discuss. For all the non-talkers and private people, talking might seem a bit difficult but practicing can help you open up more and feel closer to someone.

Spending quality time together

This one might seem easy, but most people refrain from doing this. Why? Because of the differences! While some people love spending time outside the house and enjoy spending time with different people, some people love spending time inside the house. Some love binge-watching movies and sitcoms on Netflix, while others spend their time immersed in books. The solution? Take turns! Differences in interests will always be there, but that shouldn’t stop you from spending time together. Keeping an open mind can help you explore something new. Taking each other’s interests seriously and making time to join them in the activities they love will help you strengthen the relationship.

Keeping promises

Most relationships deteriorate because of broken promises. When people keep promises, it helps in building trust, and when relationships are built on trust, it makes people feel safe and secure. 

Letting the small stuff go

No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and some mistakes can be brushed off. But sometimes, unresolved conflicts and piled up frustrations get us so immersed and tangled in our own thoughts that small and petty issues turn into big ones. Don’t sweat the small stuff. We’ve all heard this one. Overlooking small mistakes and forgiving also convey that your relationship is bigger than all the roadblocks and speed bumps that come your way.  

Giving Gifts

Gifts can communicate to the person that they were in your thoughts, and you were missing them. Plus, they also display your appreciation for them for being in your life. A gift doesn’t have to be expensive. A small keychain or even a red rose can easily communicate your love.

Involving them in your decisions

Another way of communicating love is involving people in your decisions. When you involve people and ask for their insights while making decisions, it makes them feel that their opinions matter and are important to you.

Respecting differences

When two people have similar interests and want the same things in life, it becomes easy for them to get along. But what about the differences? No two people are the same. We all are different in some way or the other. And hence when you respect differences, when you allow people to be themselves around you without being judgmental, it helps people not only feel loved but also makes them feel comfortable. It gives them a sense of belonging and a sense of safety.  So, what do you do to express love? How do you make people around you feel special?

The essay

Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know felt no love from a close friend, relative, or loved one. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you.  Share your story in the “Forums”

Our advice is for you to practice “Showing Loving Emotions” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.

What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT.  WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS.  “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!

Read the article? Time to introspect!

Q1. How do you feel when you go out on a date and you click with the person?

Q2. Did your relationship change when you started observing the differences? What steps did you take to make things work?

Q3. What’s your definition of love?

Q4. Do you involve your loved ones in the major decisions of your life?

Q5. How do you express your love for someone else? How do you show that you care?

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201702/7-ways-express-your-love

https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/19-ways-show-s-o-love-without-saying-word/

This module includes the following:

• Introduction
• Why Become a Life Coach
• The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
• Healthy Relationships
• Respect in a Relationship
• What is Love
• Bad Relationships
• Neglecting Others
• Being Selfish
• Low Self Esteem
• Self-Pity
• Jealousy
• The Dominator
• The Bully
• Manipulating Others
• Grandiosity
• I am Better Than You
• Abandoned as a Child
• Abandoned by My Children
• Forgiving Others
• Letting Go of Resentment
• Attitude Check & Confession
• Confront and Level
• I Feel Good, PST™
• Why?

There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.

Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.)  Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”

Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!

I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.

Respectfully yours,

George Tannous, PhD