Module 8: Bad Relationships

Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“.  Example:  If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”,  “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.

Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!

The beginning of a new relationship is always beautiful. The thrill of meeting a new person, pointing out the similarities, exploring similar interests, and embracing the differences. A new relationship often opens doors for new possibilities. They allow us to get out of our usual comfort zone and encourage us to try something new.

While some relationships bring an abundance of joy and happiness in our lives, some bring pain and misery. While some relationships get better as they age, just like fine wine, some relationships start gathering rust with time. But even though things get bumpy and rough, even though the relationships that seemed all puppy and rainbow in the beginning start tarnishing, people choose to stick with them. They put up with them even though these relationships take a toll on their emotional health.

Signs of bad relationships

Bad relationships might seem harmless, you might put up with a thing or two with a fake smile on your face, but with time, they start affecting your health. Here are a few signs of bad relationships that everyone must look out for:

Control: While some people use force to control the other person in the relationship, some people use manipulation. Either way, as the person starts losing his freedom, he starts feeling trapped and restricted.

Disrespect/Humiliation: Mutual respect is one of the key factors every relationship must have. But some people feel that by putting others down, they’ll shine even brighter. Disrespect and humiliation turn a healthy relationship into a suffocating one and can take a toll on a person’s confidence.

Neglect: This is one of the most notorious traits of an unhealthy relationship. While it might seem harmless, it is one of the biggest factors that take a toll on a person’s emotional health. Neglect is a subtle form of emotional abuse that can make a person feel taken for granted, worthless, or simply invisible. 

Constant criticism: Constructive criticism can help a person improve. It can help a person make amendments. But being in a relationship with someone who is overly critical can be exhausting. Constant negative comments on everything that you do, every activity you engage in can be emotionally draining and can also give rise to self-doubt.

The never-ending blame game: Being in a relationship with people who have a habit of engaging in blame games can be tiring. Why? Because they never take responsibility for their own actions and point fingers at others when things go wrong. Since they are used to running away from being responsible, they blame others.

Anger and resentment:  Everyone gets angry. After all, anger is one of the basic emotions. And some people keep their anger caged inside which gives rise to resentment. A level of these in a relationship can be tolerated, but when a person starts indulging in verbal violence and physical abuse to impose his demands or to control others, it only leads to damaged or broken relationships. People stuck in these relationships not only lose their mental health but also their physical health. While some people constantly look for an exit, some people stay in these relationships because they believe they can’t leave. 

The impact of bad relationships

Would you like to be with someone who disrespects you, humiliates you, controls you, or abuses you?

Everyone would say no.

But people still stick to these bad relationships that bring them nothing but pain and misery. Bad relationships drain people, hinder their growth, and make them feel unvalued. Some bad relationships even hold the power of destroying a person’s self-esteem. These relationships only practice taking from a person, contain an abundance of negative energy, lack proper communication, and simply cause unhappiness. People in bad relationships often find themselves either walking on eggshells or suppressing their emotions. In addition to these, bad relationships can also lead to health problems.

People in bad relationships are more likely to develop elevated levels of stress, hypertension, heart problems, and other physical illnesses.

So, if there are several downsides of being in an unhealthy relationship, why do people still choose to stay?

When it comes to relationships, people usually base their decisions on emotions instead of logic. Though it might seem the right thing to do, there is no doubt that bad relationships lead to emotional trauma and unhappiness.

Handling bad relationships:

Bad relationships might seem like a never-ending loop. Mending these might seem like a difficult task, but with patience, it can be done. Below are the steps that can help a person make improvements in his relationships. 

Recognize the patterns: Most people choose to overlook things when it comes to relationships. Even the society we live in labels a lot of issues as “normal”, which makes the task of recognizing these patterns even more difficult. But, if you feel something is off in your relationship, note it down, discuss it with someone you trust, and get a third person’s perspective on the situation.

Establish boundaries:  People in relationships sometimes allow the other person to step on their boundaries simply out of love. They believe that compromising will help them build good terms with the person but actually, it sets the tone of the relationship. As time progresses, the person becomes used to crossing the boundaries and that’s where the problems start arising. When you establish boundaries, you actually communicate to the person what is acceptable with you and what is not.

Be Assertive: Most people overlook the inappropriate behavior but that again leads to negative consequences. Whenever you feel like the other person is being abusive or is indulging in unacceptable behavior of any form, speaking up can help. Telling the person that his actions are wrong in an unemotional way can help you put a halt on the ill-suited behavior.

And if nothing works out, last but not the least, walking away from a bad relationship can help you become free form the negativity and toxicity. Most people spend years feeling unwanted, unappreciated, and unloved. But when you walk away from such a relationship, you give yourself a second chance of finding relationships that uplift you, encourage you, and make you feel loved and accepted.

Have you ever been in a bad relationship? How did you handle it and what steps did you take to address the issues in the relationship?

The essay

Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know had when you were in a bad relationship. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you.  Share your story in the “Forums”

Our advice is for you to practice “Healthy Relationships” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.

What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT.  WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS.  “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!

Read the article? Time to introspect!

Q1. Are you also clinging to toxic relationships? Why do you think you are unable to walk away?

Q2. Do you also find yourself overlooking unacceptable behavior? Why do you think you put up with toxic behavior?

Q3. How have bad relationships affected you personally as well as professionally?

Q4. Do you assert yourself when it comes to your needs or when you experience injustice? 

Q5. What steps are you planning to take to make amendments? Would you consider walking away from all the toxicity?

Sources:

https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/35-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-business-relationship.html

https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/how-to-fix-a-toxic-relationship/

This module includes the following:

• Introduction
• Why Become a Life Coach
• The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
• Healthy Relationships
• Respect in a Relationship
• What is Love
• Bad Relationships
• Neglecting Others
• Being Selfish
• Low Self Esteem
• Self-Pity
• Jealousy
• The Dominator
• The Bully
• Manipulating Others
• Grandiosity
• I am Better Thank You
• Abandoned as a Child
• Abandoned by My Children
• Forgiving Others
• Letting Go of Resentment
• Attitude Check & Confession
• Confront and Level
• I Feel Good, PST™
• Why?

There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.

Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.)  Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”

Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!

I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.

Respectfully yours,

George Tannous, PhD