Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
Do you feel jealous when your spouse spends time with his coworkers or his friends? Do you feel inadequate when your coworker gets a raise and you don’t? Do you feel inferior when your neighbor flaunts his new car? Do you feel unworthy when your friends socialize with their other friends?
If the answer to the above questions is yes, chances are, you might be experiencing jealousy.
Jealousy is one of the most common phenomena that relationships often experience. Jealousy can put down its roots in any interpersonal relationship. It could stem between couples, friends, neighbors, or coworkers. A bit of jealousy is considered a part of every relationship. But still, it’s one of the most painful emotions that holds the power of ruining relationships.
Even though jealousy is a painful and a powerful emotion, feeling a bit of jealousy is common. Jealousy in different relationships pushes people to act differently. Jealousy between couples leads to the constant and consistent demand for reassurance and comfort. Jealousy between friends can lead to arguments and conflicts. Jealousy between coworkers can lead to unhealthy competition and can force people to engage in unhealthy behavior.
How jealousy stems in relationships
There are several factors that give birth to jealousy in a relationship. Some of the reasons are as follows:
Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem lack confidence in themselves and spend their lives believing that they are not worthy of love and affection. They often feel unwanted and inadequate in a relationship and all these mixed emotions often give rise to jealousy.
Lack of trust: Trust is the backbone of every relationship. But when a relationship lacks trust and one person keeps on doubting the other person, it gives rise to insecurities which leads to jealousy.
Possessiveness: A bit of possessiveness might be good for a relationship, but over-possessive people usually find it hard to not experience jealousy when they see their loved ones having a good time with others.
Common goals: Common goals promote teamwork and healthy competition. But also, in some cases, they give rise to the unhealthy rivalry which leads to jealousy. When a person accomplishes the goal before the other, it sometimes leads to bitterness in the relationship.
Fear: Fear of losing a person, fear of abandonment, and fear of ending up all alone forces people to become the victim of jealousy.
Impact of jealousy in a relationship
Jealousy can become a serious hurdle in any relationship. When a person experiences jealousy, it’s not the result of something that comes from outside and the fault of other people, but it is a result of their own underlying insecurities, fear, and feelings of inferiority. The problems arise when a person acts upon this toxic emotion as it creates several bumps in a relationship.
The constant demand for reassurance: Jealousy fills a person with doubt and fear which creates a constant demand for reassurance. He/she demands comfort and safety in the relationship which starts taking a toll on the other person involved.
Jealousy can confine people: When a person experiences jealousy, he feels that controlling the actions of another person will help, but this usually backfires. Jealousy can force a person to put a question mark on the independence of the other person involved which makes a relationship suffocating and also forces a person to look for an exit.
It leads to conflicts: The constant need for reassurance, the never-ending doubt, the insecurities and fear, all of these factors lead to conflicts in a relationship which can also lead to heated discussions, verbal violence, or physical assaults.
There is no doubt that jealousy easily poisons a healthy relationship. But the good news is that there are steps that a person can take to combat this emotion and overcome the challenges it creates.
How can one ditch jealousy?
Jealousy comes from within. It’s important to understand that it’s a result of our own insecurities, fears, and toxic feelings. Hence, it’s important to work on ourselves instead of pointing fingers on others and blaming others for our own suffering. The following are some steps one can take to tackle jealousy and to become free from it.
Work on yourself: Instead of focusing on others and their accomplishments, focus on yourself and achieving your short-term and long-term goals can enable you to boost your confidence and can help you overcome the feelings of inferiority.
Don’t compare: “Why do I have to put up with this old car while my neighbor gets to drive an Audi?”, “Why on earth my junior is getting a raise and I am not?”, “Why my wife gets to have a good time with her friends while I am stuck with work?”. Comparison leads to misery. It’s important to understand that everyone has their own journey, and everyone’s life is different. And comparing only gives rise to negativity. Instead of comparing, creating long-term as well as short term goals for yourself and working to achieve them can help you overcome jealousy.
Maintain a journal: Feeling jealous? Write it down! Journals not only enable you to introspect but also enable you to keep track of your thoughts. They also give you a healthy outlet to express yourself and to be honest about how you feel.
Create healthy boundaries: Boundaries in relationships are crucial. Boundaries imply what is acceptable and what is not.
Communicate: Several times, we overthink and overanalyze a situation, which creates unnecessary problems. The jealousy you experience might be a product of some minor misunderstanding. Hence communicating how you feel to the person can help you resolve the problems at hand as well as help you overcome this toxic emotion.
Have you ever felt jealous of your spouse, neighbor, coworker, or friend? How did you deal with this toxic emotion and what steps did you take?
The essay
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know were jealous of someone. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the “Forums”
Our advice is for you to practice “Not Getting Easily Jealous” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.
What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT. WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS. “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!
Read the article? Time to introspect!
Q1. Do you feel jealous of your spouse, your coworkers or your friends? Why do you think you feel that?
Q2. Apart from the factors listed above, what other factors do you think lead to jealousy?
Q3. Can you list out all the challenges you have faced in your relationships due to jealousy?
Q4. Do you compare yourself to other people? Why do you think you do that?
Q5. What steps are you taking to improve and grow? What are your short-term as well as your long-term goals?
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-poisonous-effect-of-jealousy-on-your-relationship/
This module includes the following:
- Introduction
- Why Become a Life Coach
- The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
- Healthy Relationships
- Respect in a Relationship
- What is Love
- Bad Relationships
- Neglecting Others
- Being Selfish
- Low Self Esteem
- Self-Pity
- Jealousy
- The Dominator
- The Bully
- Manipulating Others
- Grandiosity
- I am Better Than You
- Abandoned as a Child
- Abandoned by My Children
- Forgiving Others
- Letting Go of Resentment
- Attitude Check & Confession
- Confront and Level
- I Feel Good, PST™
- Why?
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
Respectfully yours,
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.