Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
Have you ever felt a strong recurring emotion when you slip into flashbacks? Do you feel intense anger when you go down the memory lane? Do you still remember the last time you were treated unfairly? Do you feel your blood boiling just by the thought of it?
If you experience a huge wave of emotions that take a toll on your present emotional state, you could be full of resentment.
What is resentment?
Resentment is an emotional state we all experience. Just like our basic six emotions, feeling resentful is also a part of life and can easily disturb your mental health. Resentment stems from unexpressed anger that we keep bottled up inside. When we choose to suppress anger, it keeps snowballing inside and takes the form of resentment. As time passes, resentment becomes the cornerstone of hatred. Eventually it leads us to bitterness, deteriorated mental health, and damaged relationships.
When a person starts resenting someone, it may seem subtle. He might also brush things off with a fake smile. But with time, the subtle resentment starts intensifying. And when the situation doesn’t get resolved and frustrations and disappointments keep getting piled up, it leads to strong hatred, which also sometimes leads to verbal and physical violence.
Reasons behind resentment:
There could be several reasons that fuel resentment. Sometimes a small yet hurtful comment from a friend, partiality in the workplace, humiliation, constant disrespect, being ignored, etc. give rise resentment. Sometimes our resentment gets directed towards ourselves. Inability to achieve goals, being socially awkward, inability to break toxic habits, being overly critical of yourself, etc. can lead to self-resentment.
But there are some more factors that contribute to resentment which are as follow:
Jealousy: “Why does my neighbor gets to drive that fancy car while I have to put up with two jobs?”, “Why on earth my SAT score is less than his when I studied harder?”, “Why my junior is getting a raise while being a senior, I get to clean up his mess?”. Jealousy can easily give a boost to resentment.
Injustice: Standing up against injustice becomes easy when we don’t have much to lose. But what happens when we do? When things are at stake, we sometimes choose to tolerate injustice in silence. But inside, we keep burning with hatred which further gives rise to resentment.
Insecurities: Our deep-rooted insecurities also lead to resentment. “Why is that guy talking to my girlfriend?”, “People make fun of me because of my crooked teeth”, “My boss always undermines my work because I am not good enough for my job”. Deep-rooted insecurities often lead to resentment directed towards people around us and sometimes, even to ourselves.
Unhealthy Competition: Healthy competition encourages improvement and enables people to pick up new skills. It motivates people to push the boundaries and helps them achieve their goals. On the contrary, unhealthy competition gives rise to fear, discrimination, and comparisons which lead to resentment.
Letting go of resentment
Replaying old memories and clinging to hurtful feelings can easily destroy someone’s present state of mind. But some steps can help a person deal with resentment better. Below are some tips that can help a resentful person.
Feel your feelings: Most people avoid dealing with their feelings and live in denial. Some people are also taught to take everything that’s happening to them positively. Such people often deny injustice is happening to them and they also refuse to feel their feelings. They resist expressing their anger, frustrations, as well as disappointments, and live in agony which gives rise to resentment. Being honest with yourself and learning to deal with your feelings positively can help you deal with resentment.
Introspect: Introspecting not only boosts self-awareness and self-acceptance but also helps you in achieving a clear understanding of yourself. It helps you know what is acceptable and what sets you off and hence, introspection can help you recognize all the parameters that push your buttons. Maintaining a journal is an excellent way. Making it a habit of writing in your journal daily helps you keep your thoughts in check and also enables you to express yourself in a safe manner.
Identify the situations: Sometimes, small incidents and petty issues get piled up and result in resentment. Sometimes we act out because our imagination skyrockets our frustration, and we jump to conclusions. Identifying the exact situation, measuring its intensity as well as the impact and dealing with it positively can help in combating resentment.
Stop the blame game: People who believe everything is someone else’s fault always end up resenting others. Blame game not only liberates you from responsibilities but also puts a halt on your learning process. Taking responsibility for your actions and dealing with the situation can help you in letting go of resentment.
Practice gratitude: Practicing gratitude and making a list of all the things that you are grateful for can help you overlook small incidents and deal with resentment better.
Don’t take everything personally: Sometimes due to deep-rooted insecurities, people believe everything is directed at them. They take everything personally. One single remark from the boss at work, a coworker, or a friend becomes more than enough to ruin their day. Dealing with insecurities, keeping an open mind while being around other people and learning to let go of small incidents can help a person become free from resentment.
Relaxation exercises: Have you ever felt your heartbeat racing and palms getting sweaty? Have you ever felt your fists clenching up and you can’t take it anymore? If the answer is yes, then you need to practice relaxation exercises. Relaxation exercises like breath focus, mindfulness meditation, and yoga can help you stay in control under stressful situations and can also help you deal with resentment.
So, what steps have you taken to deal with resentment and how has letting go of this destructive emotion helped you improve your life?
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know had when you were resentful towards someone. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the “Blog Section”
Our advice is for you to practice “Forgiveness” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.
What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT. WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS. “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!
Read the article? Time to introspect!
Q1. When was the last time you were treated unfairly? Do you still get angry while thinking about it? Why?
Q2. Is there someone in your life you resent the most? Why?
Q3. Have you ever resented yourself? What made you stay angry with yourself?
Q4. What factors do you think fuel resentment?
Q5. What steps have you taken to stop resenting someone?
This module includes the following:
- Why Become a Life Coach
- The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
- Healthy Relationships
- Respect in a Relationship
- What is Love
- Bad Relationships
- Neglecting Others
- Being Selfish
- Low Self Esteem
- The Dominator
- The Bully
- Manipulating Others
- I am Better Than You
- Abandoned as a Child
- Abandoned by My Children
- Forgiving Others
- Letting Go of Resentment
- Attitude Check & Confession
- Confront and Level
- I Feel Good, PST™
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.