Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
What are “Loaded Words”? Loaded words are words people use to try to persuade, manipulate, and convince a person of something. It is said that your tongue is one of the most powerful weapons. Your words hold the power of building someone up or tearing them down.
In the Bible we are told that the tongue cuts like a double-edged sword. While it is always encouraged to indulge in healthy dialogue, we often find ourselves using words that do more damage than good.
Modern times and recent trends strongly advocate the phrase “speak your mind.” Words do render us the ability to express ourselves effectively, but the latest trends and social media have strongly started to stress the use of curse words, swearing, and loaded words. It’s no doubt that the trend has spread like a wildfire and more and more people are adopting the use of loaded words in their daily lives. It might seem great in the beginning, but as the use of loaded words becomes a habit, it eventually backfires.
When you hear people conversing with loaded words, how do you feel? When you heard your very first loaded word, what was your reaction? We bet you might have felt shocked, disgusted or you might have even cringed. But slowly and gradually you started repeating those words over and over again inside your head and one day it finally came out of your mouth.
Once loaded words become a part of your vocabulary, you just use them in normal conversation. And you use them so often that they lose their original meaning to you, but the impact remains the same.
Why we use loaded words?
During our childhood days, our teachers and parents taught us not to swear or use loaded words. Respectful language and wholesome words were encouraged and the language containing loaded words was frowned upon. In some homes, we had “swear jars” just to show us that using offensive language was bad manners.
Even though nobody taught us to use loaded words we learned them anyway. But what was the need for learning this foul language? Were fewer offensive words in the English language not good enough?
There are many explanations why we use loaded words. One of the most common reasons is to express anger, frustration, envy, fear, or disgust. Using loaded words or offensive language frees us from these emotions and we feel relieved when we dump our emotions on others.
But do you think that the language that originates from so many negative emotions can lead to something positive? You might feel great after expressing yourself using loaded words but do others feel the same?
Reasons to avoid loaded words
Using loaded words might make you initially feel better but most of the time, the person on the receiving end gets burned. Offensive language not only disrupts conversations but also leaves other people feeling degraded. Here are some reasons why we all should consider eliminating the use of loaded words:
Tests relationships: When we get comfortable with using loaded words we start using them during every conversation. We use them in a friendly manner, we use them to express surprise, and sometimes we use them just for fun. But imagine you are having a heated discussion with a loved ones and you are trying to make a point. Will you be able to hold back? What will happen if you blurt out loaded words just to win the argument? We bet your relationships will be put to test.
Negatively influence people: Imagine one of your coworkers is a star performer of your organization. Everyone knows about her achievements, her exceptional methods and her positive attitude toward her work. Her achievements are always applauded and your boss just can’t stop praising her. But imagine if someone decides to label her as a bootlicker, a doormat or a minion. Some people might decide to brush the harsh labels off but, some people might take it seriously. Even after being the hardest worker in the room, her work gets overshadowed with the harsh labels and these labels influence her coworkers negatively. Unfair, isn’t it?
Creates conflict: The basic building block of any conversation is mutual respect. If you want to achieve something out of a conversation, there has to be respect involved. Using loaded words not only promotes a disrespectful attitude but also disrupts communication. Would you like to talk to a person who just curses to prove his point instead of having a conversation like an adult?
People stop taking you seriously: Have you ever wondered why educational institutions, workplaces, meetings, etc., prohibit loaded words? Why do these people recommend using a sophisticated language? Because when you use loaded words people stop taking you seriously. Would you value the opinion of a person who uses offensive language frequently? Would you like to talk to a person who just can’t have a normal conversation without degrading someone?
We start degrading ourselves: When our dialogue become unhealthy with others, how can we have constructive conversations? When we use offensive words we start using the degrading language with ourselves too. We talk to ourselves harshly, make brutal remarks and instead of uplifting ourselves, we start degrading ourselves. In addition to this, when we use loaded words, we allow others to use the same kind of words with us. We don’t realize that we are inviting offensive language and bad behavior in our lives unconsciously.
If using loaded words is so harmful, wouldn’t it be great to break the habit?
How to stop using loaded words:
For someone who has been using loaded words for years, it might feel impossible but the good news is, it’s not. With a few simple steps, you can slowly, yet effectively, stop using them and start making constructive and positive conversations.
Know the value of your words: Always remind yourself that your words hold power. They are capable of doing harm and causing permanent damage.
Be mindful: While freedom of speech is great, it doesn’t include offending and disrespecting others. There is a very fine line between the two and being mindful of boundaries can help you with avoiding loaded words.
Keep a journal: Maintaining a journal is an excellent way of keeping track of your words. Notice when you feel the urge to use loaded words, observe what triggers you to do so. Writing your thoughts in a journal can help you identify the areas that trigger you to use loaded words.
Patience is the key: Next time you are tempted to use foul language, stop! Take a pause. Breathe in and breathe out. Remind yourself that your journey to self-improvement is more important than indulging in unhealthy dialogue.
Replace your words: Replacing loaded words with wholesome words is another great way. If you Google it, there is a list of more than 100 words that can be replaced with better and healthy words.
Our advice is for you to practice “Not Using Loaded Words” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the Forum and do a CONFESSION.
What is a Confession? A Confession is when you’ve displayed a wrong behavior and were held accountable by one of your family members, peers, or even yourself. Visit the Forum and tell us about it. We will give you feedback! Make sure to watch the video about Confession for more details! Furthermore, become a member of the Forum and give feedback to others!
So how has avoiding loaded words changed your life? How did you improve your daily dialogue?
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know had when you used loaded words. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the “Forums”
Our advice is for you to practice “Not Using Loaded Words” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.
What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT. WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS. “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!
Read the article? Time for introspection!
Please answer the following:
- Do you think swearing is justified when it comes to freedom of speech?
- How often do you swear on a daily basis? Why do you think you feel the need for using loaded words?
- How do you feel when your friends use loaded words to address or to poke fun at each other?
- How has using loaded words impacted your relationships?
- Do you think you should minimize the use of loaded words? If yes, what steps are you planning to take to overcome this habit?
This module includes the following:
- Why Become a Life Coach
- Thinking the Worst
- Unconditional Thinker
- You Should
- I Can’t
- Grandiose Questions
- It’s Them
- Loaded Words
- Making Assumptions
- Have to Need to, Must
- Attitude Check & Confession
- I Feel Good, PST™
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.