Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
What makes you angry? What are your hotspots? This is one of the trickiest and most difficult questions to answer. Why? Because there can be many things that make someone uncomfortable with a situation, push their buttons, or make their blood boil. Answering this question appropriately requires a lot of introspection.
For some people, small incidents and petty issues are enough to upset them. Being tailgated on the highway, someone interrupting them while they are speaking, or someone cutting them off in the supermarket line. For some, these incidents are enough to upset them for the whole day.
There are also people who feel everything is directed at them. They take every comment, every incident, and every mishappening personally. Instead of treating people as their comrades, they see the world as a nasty place and label people as threats or rivals.
And then there are some people who instead of getting angry and upset choose to let things go. They prefer keeping things inside and letting things go until the day comes when they are no longer capable of dealing with their unmet needs, piled up frustrations, and disappointments.
It doesn’t matter which category you belong to, anger, when not dealt with constructively, can have serious effects. Not only can anger lead to sudden outbursts, poor and damaged relationships, verbal violence, and physical assaults, it can also affect your health. Mismanaged anger can cause serious emotional, mental, and physical health concerns; it can even shorten your life span.
So how can we manage anger effectively?
The first step is to recognize what makes you mad. It’s to carry out an introspection activity and learn what upsets you. You need to know your hotspots. When you know your hotspots, you can manage situations in a positive manner. But the first step is to learn what they are, how they affect you, and their consequences.
Common causes of anger:
For some people, certain events lead to uncontrollable anger and could ultimately lead to sudden outbursts. But there are some common factors that contribute to anger. These factors are:
Frustration: Everyone gets frustrated. But when the problems don’t get addressed properly, they add to the frustration. Result? Piled up frustration leading to uncontrollable anger.
Fear: When we are afraid anger can be a natural response to a situation.
Stress: Stress at work, from friends, family, life events, financial situations, etc., can easily make you irritable which can lead to anger.
Disappointments: When others disappoint us or when we disappoint ourselves, it leads to frustration and resentment due to unmet expectations that are directed toward others and sometimes even toward ourselves.
Past memories: Past memories can easily trigger anger. Unmet childhood needs, failed relationships, unaccomplished goals, injustice, and many other factors can influence your present emotional state.
Health issues: Sometimes medical conditions, disabilities, and diseases contribute to irritability and hostility.
Apart from these factors, there are several situations that trigger uncontrollable anger. Some situations might tempt you to be angry and, sometimes, you may feel justified to slip into rage.
But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how justified it may seem, it doesn’t matter how tempting it is, it doesn’t matter if you are right or wrong, if you become angry and lose control in a situation, you could end up with regrets and guilt.
We have listed some of the situations that might help you recognize what ignites your buttons.
- When someone lies to me.
- When my favorite team loses the game.
- When someone flirts with my partner.
- When I’m ignored by my loved ones.
- When I’m stuck in the traffic.
- When my boss degrades my hard work.
- When my coworkers take the credit for my work.
- When someone fails to meet my expectations or keep their promises.
- When someone spreads false rumors about me or someone else.
- When someone tries to humiliate me and disrespects me in front of others.
- When someone tries to dominate me and push me around.
- I feel angry at myself when I feel powerless in a situation.
- When someone starts dictating to me how my life should be and tries to interfere in my personal business.
- When I get stuck in a situation and cannot find a solution.
- When someone criticizes my work and micromanages me.
- When I’m not appreciated for what I do.
- When people are inconsiderate and rude to me.
- When my parents/siblings argue with one another.
- When a child misbehaves on an aircraft and throws tantrums.
- When people fail to manage their kids properly.
- When I have to wait in a long line in supermarkets, banks, etc.
- When someone mistreats animals.
- When someone mistreats children.
- When someone tries to force me into a situation for personal gains.
- When I have to put up with car horns, loud music, irritating noises, etc.
- When someone misleads me and tries to influence my decisions on purpose.
- When someone calls me only when they need help.
- When someone makes fun of my physical appearance.
Try picturing each scenario. If you can’t find the exact situation, try to picture a similar one and note it. Also, note how it makes you feel. On the scale of one to ten, how angry does it make you? Rate the situation.
Doing this activity will not only help you see your triggers but will also help you deal with similar situations in a more positive and constructive manner. When we know our triggers, we can analyze them, understand them, and make peace with them.
Did you find out what sets you off? How do you manage your anger when a situation triggers you and how has knowing your hotspots helped you?
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know burst into an anger rage and what was your hotspot. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the Forums.
Our advice is for you to practice “Recognizing Your Hotspots” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any time in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the Forum and do a “CONFESSION.”
What is a Confession? A Confession is when you’ve displayed a wrong behavior and were held accountable by one of your family members, peers, or even yourself. Visit the Forum and tell us about it. We will give you feedback! Make sure to watch the video about Confession for more details! Furthermore, become a member of the Forum and give feedback to others!
Read the article? Time to introspect!
- Do you see people around you as comrades, or do you see them as rivals or threats?
- Is there a health issue that makes you feel frustrated? Why do you think it holds the power to make you angry?
- Do old disappointments make you angry? Why?
- How do you deal with stress? What steps do you take to keep calm in a tense situation?
- What are your hotspots? What factors lead to anger? Have you recognized them?
This module includes the following:
- Why Become a Life Coach
- My Hot Spots
- What Triggers Your Anger
- Anger and Your Health
- Anger Management
- Anger Be Gone
- My Anger Plan
- Strategies for Controlling Anger
- Attitude Check & Confession
- Confront and Level
- I Feel Good, PST™
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.