Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
Almost every single day, we come across situations that press our buttons. Someone cutting us in traffic, a subtle remark from a coworker, a sarcastic comment from the spouse, or a disagreement with a friend can easily lead to outbursts.
While some situations take place out of the blue, sometimes, anger takes time to build up. The frustration of every small and large event gets piled up inside of us, and before we realize it, it becomes too late to manage our anger in a positive manner.
It’s a fact that no one is perfect. We all have our good days and bad days. Every individual experience anger because it’s one of the basic emotions. And it’s not all bad, anger can have positive effects too if handled constructively. But most times, even when people try their best to avoid outbursts, they eventually give in to the raging emotions that brings upon us anger!
Managing anger constructively takes time as well as patience. No one can turn into a Zen master in just a few days. Taming your anger and channeling it for something good requires constant and consistent efforts. And this is where anger management comes into play.
What is anger management?
Anger management is a process of recognizing triggers and patterns; to isolating oneself from situations to calm down and to positively handle the oncoming anger while finding solutions. Anger management doesn’t tell you to not feel your feelings. It doesn’t preach to live in denial. But instead, it helps you to positively channel your anger and deal with the situation without letting it overpower you.
So, what does anger management involve? It involves some steps you can take when you are feeling infuriated. These steps will not only help you discover the root cause of your anger but will also help you think clearly under a stressful situation. Anger management will help you manage your emotions to not turn into an anger outburst.
Identifying the cause:
Anger gets triggered due to several reasons. Sometimes, we become angry due to inner reasons, sometimes, our environment or outer reasons contribute to the sudden outburst. Sometimes harsh words of the inner critic and degrading self-talk also leads to anger. In addition to these reasons, memories, a feeling of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, depression, hurt, inability to solve problems, trauma, and even frustration due to health problems result in mismanaged anger.
Anger can also be a learned behavior. When children grow up in families where sudden outbursts and verbal violence are a common phenomenon, they adopt the same behavior which continues to stay with them in adulthood as well.
Our thought process also plays a crucial role when it comes to anger. Our thinking patterns often add fuel to the fire. “People always do unfair things to me”, “I am the only one who never gets a raise”, “My friends always cancel on me”, “No one ever appreciates me for my hard work”. Making assumptions and jumping to conclusions often leads to frustration and triggers anger.
Identifying the triggers requires work. It requires some introspection. The more you know your triggers, the better you’ll be able to manage your anger.
Calming down:
The second step in anger management is calming down and isolating yourself from the situation. While it might seem unachievable, with time and practice you’ll get there. Below are some relaxation exercises and some techniques that can help you with keeping yourself calm. Some of these require daily practice and some of these can be used to lower your arousal levels when you are tempted to throw temper tantrums.
Counting: One of the most common ways of dealing with anger is counting. If you find yourself getting worked up, start counting from one to ten or even one to hundred depending on the intensity of the situation. Focus all your thoughts on counting. This will not only help you isolate yourself but will also help you stop your thoughts from building up and will put a halt on negative self-talk.
Meditation: Meditation helps you accept things as they are. Once you accept things, it becomes easier to find solutions. In addition to this, when done daily, meditation also helps in reducing stress, anxiety, promotes physical and emotional wellbeing, empathy, and emotional intelligence. It helps you be more patient and also helps you stay calm under stressful situations.
Maintain a journal: One of the best ways of introspection is to maintain a journal. When you write your thoughts in your journal, it not only gives you an outlet to vent but also helps you analyze your thoughts later.
Practice your response: Confronting someone can be one of the hardest jobs, especially when you are you are overwhelmed with all the emotional build-ups. Hence practicing your response in front of the mirror can help you stay in control and keep you focused without negative self-talk.
Practice forgiveness: Forgiving someone requires a lot of patience and effort. We sometimes overanalyze situations and accuse someone while jumping to conclusions. Sometimes, our loved ones are at fault and their actions affect us in the worst possible ways. But keeping the fire of hate alive only burns us with time. The memories not only haunt us but trigger anger repeatedly. Hence, it’s important to practice forgiveness and move on.
Find an outlet: An outdoor sport that requires intense physical activity can help you immensely with anger management. You can take up basketball, football, or even martial arts and kickboxing to manage your anger effectively.
Finding a solution
Once you’ve found the root cause and once you are calm, the last step of anger management is taking actions. Sometimes, when we get stuck, we feel like there are no solutions. But as we zoom out of the situation and take some time off, we realize that multiple solutions exist.
Hence the first step is to list all the possible solutions. Pick up a diary and a pen and start jotting down all the possible solutions. Now take some time off and return to the list. Doing this gives your brain some time to go through all the possible solutions and pick the best one.
The next step is to create a plan of action. You can divide your problem into smaller chunks and create a step-by-step plan to give yourself a clear understanding of your goals. If you need more help with the task, you can ask your family, coworkers, and friends.
Which techniques do you use to lower your arousal levels? How has anger management helped you with your anger?
The essay:
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a situation when you were angry and how you plan to manage your anger. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the “Forums”
Our advice is for you to practice “Anger Management” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.
What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT. WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS. “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!
Read the article? Time to introspect!
Q1. Do you also experience outbursts? Why do you think you keep things bottled up inside?
Q2. Do you also practice harsh self-talk? How do you think it’s affecting your life?
Q3. How do you identify the cause of your anger?
Q4. Do you meditate? If yes, how has it made a difference in your life?
Q5. What steps would you take to find the solution to a complex problem?
Sources:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/anger-management/about/pac-20385186
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-control-anger#7
This module includes the following:
- Introduction
- Why Become a Life Coach
- My Hot Spots
- What Triggers Your Anger
- Anger and Your Health
- Anger Management
- Anger Be Gone
- My Anger Plan
- Strategies for Controlling Anger
- Attitude Check & Confession
- Confront and Level
- I Feel Good, PST™
- Why?
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
Respectfully yours,
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.