Strategies for Controlling Anger
by: George Tannous, PhD
Become a Certified Life Coach
Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
Anger is one of the most powerful yet most misunderstood emotions. Thanks to modern motivational gurus and self-proclaimed spiritual leaders, anger has become one of the most negatively labeled emotions. While experiencing this intense emotion is just as normal as experiencing other emotions such as happiness, sadness, surprise, disgust, and fear, most people avoid dealing with this emotion because of its bad reputation.
It’s completely fine to experience anger. After all, it’s one of the six basic emotions. Anger is indeed a completely natural and normal human experience. But there is a difference between good anger and bad anger.
Good anger can enable you to take a stand for yourself and others; it can give you the courage to voice your opinion against injustice and can cause you to take many positive actions.
Anger can be a strong motivator. It can bring people together and enable them to become a voice against corrupt systems, dysfunctional workplaces, and low wages. Anger can amplify the ability of a person to focus and encourage them to achieve their goals.
But anger becomes problematic when mismanaged. It can get out of control and start bringing harm to you and those around you. Anger can cause sudden and intense outbursts and can cause a person to become verbally and physically violent. In addition, poorly managed anger brings harm to the emotional, physical, and mental wellbeing of the angered person.
Some people don’t experience anger for weeks or months, while others experience episodes of anger more frequently. For some people, anger is a part of their personality. Some people experience short yet intense episodes of anger. Some keep their anger caged up and suffer in silence. They struggle with this emotion and burst on others when they are unable to deal with the pent-up frustrations.
So, the question arises, is there a healthy way of dealing with anger? Are there strategies to tame this emotion?
Yes, there are.
If you are struggling with anger, keep reading. This article is just for you. We’ll be discussing strategies that can help you deal with anger positively and constructively with patience. So, let’s get started.
Recognizing the signs: The first step is to recognize the signs of anger. When someone experiences anger, their heart starts pounding, their fists clench, their chest tightens up, they start grinding their teeth, the face flushes and they starts sweating. They may feel anxious, become defensive and switch to an argumentative mode. The first step to managing anger is to look for these signs and understand what triggers you and makes you slip into this state.
Examining your thinking patterns: Do you find yourself using words like “should,” “must” or “have to”? Do you use these words not only for others but for yourself? When we use these words that create obligations, we force ourselves and others to do things we or they might not be comfortable doing. And unconsciously, we pick patterns that influence our thinking negatively. Hence, it becomes important to keep a check on our thinking patterns and examine them on a regular basis.
Keeping your attitude in check: Are you someone with an all or nothing attitude? Are you someone who isn’t open to compromise or making adjustments? When we pick up and incorporate attitudes that limit our options, they make us rigid and frequently give rise to conflict. Keeping your attitude in check and refraining from indulging in these practices will help you keep an open mind.
Keeping the options open: During an argument or conflict, sometimes we find ourselves making irrational demands. We often limit the options for others which not only further intensifies the conflict but results in more aggression as well as verbal and physical violence. When we keep an open mind and give flexible options to people, it helps settle conflicts constructively.
Taking the time out: Sometimes, we get so immersed in a situation that we fail to see healthy alternatives. Our judgment gets clouded, and we make irrational or poor choices. Taking some time out from a situation not only helps you see other perspectives but also helps you zoom out and calm down.
Seeking compromise: When we are open to compromise, it helps us empathize with others. We become open to listening to the point of view of others, their perspective, and their attitudes. It helps us see the other side of the coin and helps us settle the argument in such a way that both party’s benefit.
Give your anger a language: Giving your anger a language does not mean indulging in verbal violence. It means instead of letting anger get the best of you, you express it verbally. Let yourself know what is actually bothering you, what is triggering you. Sometimes, when petty issues get piled up, they get us all worked up. They push our buttons. But when the episode of anger passes, it fills us with regret and guilt. Hence giving your anger a language helps you identify the real issues behind your rage that sometimes get masked.
Get busy: Becoming engaged can help you deal with your anger. Taking up physical activities like kickboxing or martial arts can help you constructively channel your anger.
Look for solutions: Last but not the least, becoming a solutions-oriented person helps you shift your perspective and solve issues.
Practicing these strategies will not only help you manage your anger better but will also help you get a fresh perspective next time you get into a heated discussion or an argument.
The essay:
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know had a rage of anger and how you were able to control it. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the Forums.
Our advice is for you to practice “Strategies for controlling anger” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any time in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the Forum and do a “CONFESSION.”
What is a Confession? A Confession is when you’ve displayed a wrong behavior and were held accountable by one of your family members, peers, or even yourself. Visit the Forum and tell us about it. We will give you feedback! Make sure to watch the video about Confession for more details! Furthermore, become a member of the Forum and give feedback to others!
Read the article? Time to introspect!
- How frequently do you experience anger? Why? What presses your buttons?
- How do you recognize the signs of anger? What physical changes do you experience?
- Do you create obligations for yourself and others? Does it lead to anger?
- How comfortable do you feel when you have to compromise to settle any issue?
- Do you prefer looking for solutions, or do you leave the issue unresolved? How do you think finding solutions can help you with anger management?
Sources:
https://www.verywellmind.com/anger-management-strategies-4178870
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-control-anger#3
This module includes the following:
- Introduction
- Why Become a Life Coach
- My Hot Spots
- What Triggers Your Anger
- Anger and Your Health
- Anger Management
- Anger Be Gone
- My Anger Plan
- Strategies for Controlling Anger
- Attitude Check & Confession
- Confront and Level
- I Feel Good, PST™
- Why?
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
Respectfully yours,
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.