Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the end and follow the instructions for submission!
When we were young school-going kids, our teachers would often tell us to wait our turns. We were taught to not cut in line, to wait for our turn patiently, to not throw tantrums, and to never be harsh with others. While we nodded our heads back then with big smiles on our faces, as we grew up, we left some of those lessons behind.
In adulthood, we can engage in tantrums just like our childhood days but in a more sophisticated manner. And while engaging in this behavior, we often expect people to comply with us. The demands remain the same, but our methods have matured. We often find ourselves dictating to others how we like things and how we want them to be. In addition to this, we sometimes expect everyone to abide by the terms and conditions set by us.
This attitude is known as the attitude of entitlement, which is one of the eight criminal thinking errors according to the book “The Criminal Lifestyle: Patterns of Serious Criminal Conduct,” by Glenn D. Walters.
But how is the entitlement of a career criminal different from a law-abiding citizen? Don’t we all feel entitled at some point? How does it differentiate a good citizen from a criminal?
Before we answer these questions, it’s important to understand the meaning of entitlement.
What is entitlement?
Entitlement is often confused with being precise about what you want, self-confidence, and high self-esteem. The good news is that entitlement is none of these.
Entitlement is making inappropriate, impractical, or unrealistic demands from people to treat you the way you want to be treated. This means a person comes to expect certain treatment, resources, and luxuries without having any regard to the needs of others.
This attitude can also be described as the “You owe me” attitude. A person feels that he deserves certain privileges that others work hard for.
This usually results in imposing unrealistic demands on your spouse, your friends, or your family; manipulating others, lashing out at people when your demands are not met, indulging in “take” attitude instead of “give and take attitude,” wanting to be on the top of everyone’s priority list. And when these benchmarks are not met, we indulge in self-pity or play the victim card.
The attitude of entitlement starts in childhood when parents say yes to all of their child’s demands. While taking care of children and making sure that they are fulfilled and happy is something that should sit on the top of every parent’s list, sometimes parents overdo things. This plants the idea in the child’s mind that the world is going to simply hand out things and all their wishes are going to be true. But the world doesn’t work that way, does it now? As children mature and enter adulthood, they realize that they can’t have everything they want. The world owes them nothing. This realization then gives birth to resentment, envy, anger, and self-pity.
Another reason for entitlement is narcissism. A narcissist constantly seeks attention, asserts his or her importance and feels superior. They enter relationships with unrealistic expectations and exaggerate their own importance.
But almost all of us indulge in at least one of these acts, right? Sometimes we expect people to make us their priorities. Sometimes in relationships we expect them to do things for us in a certain way, and sometimes we impose our selfish demands on them and expect them to put up with our behavior. Consciously or unconsciously, we all have been there, we all have done these. So how is the entitlement of a law-abiding citizen different from the entitlement of a criminal?
Entitlement in criminals:
In 2011, a letter circulated the web that made jaws drop. It was written by a teenage burglar who blamed and accused the victims of his acts for being thick and dumb. He pointed out in his letter that it was the victim’s fault that he got robbed and listed out all the things the victim should have done and what he shouldn’t have. Instead of reflecting on his own actions, the entitled teenager chose to indulge in self-pity and blamed the victims for not being too careful.
Criminals use entitlement to justify their crimes to themselves. “I deserve good things too, so I am taking it,” “I need money just like everyone else, it wouldn’t hurt if I take some forcefully; they’ve got plenty of it,” “I wonder what that man has done to deserve that life. I deserve to be living in that house,” “I need this car more than he does, he’s loaded already. He’ll buy another one for himself.” Criminals who use entitlement as a justification believe that the world owes them something.
Criminals who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder often lack empathy. They fail to walk in other people’s shoes. They fail to see other people’s points of view. “I stabbed him because he rejected my application; I deserved that job and he deserved to die,”
“I robbed him because he already has a lot and I don’t have anything,” “I broke his jaw because he dared to criticize me in front of everyone. I don’t deserve this.” An entitled criminal fails to see the consequences of his actions.
An entitled criminal is often ready to go to any lengths to fulfill his wishes and punish innocent people when his demands are not met. In the process, he fails to see how his actions affect multiple lives and how his entitlement torments others.
We all indulge in narcissistic behavior from time to time. Sometimes we expect too much too soon and sometimes we end up hurting others when we are not happy with our relationships. Entitlement and narcissistic behavior can be managed with the right help. But in many cases, people who indulge in this behavior start seeking help when it’s too late. They start looking for help after immersing themselves in self-pity, depression, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, anxiety, stress, etc.
If you are going through the same and feel the same way, talking to the right person or talking to a therapist can help you overcome the feeling of being entitled. But the key is, to get help before you adopt self-destructive habits.
The essay
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know had an attitude of entitlement. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the Forums.
Our advice is for you to practice “Not Making Impulsive Decisions” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the Forum and do a “CONFESSION.”
What is a Confession? A Confession is when you’ve displayed a wrong behavior and were held accountable by one of your family members, peers, or even yourself. Visit the Forum and tell us about it. We will give you feedback! Make sure to watch the video about Confession for more details! Furthermore, become a member of the Forum and give feedback to others!
Read the article? Time to introspect!
- Do you find yourself imposing unrealistic demands on others? Why do you think you engage in such behavior?
- Do you become angry when your needs aren’t met in a relationship? How do you deal with it?
- What kind of treatment do you seek when you enter a new relationship?
- What steps do you take to understand the perspective of other people? Are you able empathize with people effectively?
- Are you willing to seek professional help to overcome this destructive habit? If no, why not?
Sources:
https://www.dailyedge.ie/apology-fail-teen-burglar-blames-victims-for-crimes-288195-Nov2011/
This module includes the following:
- Introduction
- Why Become a Life Coach
- Entitlement
- Power Orientation
- Cut Off
- Easing through Thoughts / Mollify
- Super Optimism
- Discontinuity
- Sentimentality
- Cognitive Indolence
- Attitude Check & Confession
- I Feel Good, PST™
- Why?
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Make sure to read each article carefully at least three time. Print your workbook (will be available per lesson.) Answer all questions and enter them in your workbook. Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate so long as you’ve been a member of the “Forums.”
Also, follow the instruction for sharing your story in our Forums as well as participating in our “Forums,” especially our unique “Confessions Forum” so you may gain practice, knowledge, experience, and expertise!
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
Respectfully yours,
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.