Important: Before you study this lesson please watch this video, “Why?“. Example: If you or your client are in a relationship and the other person displayed an attitude of not being “Truthful”, you’ll need to master, and you’ll need to educate your client the following: “Confront and Level!”, “Assertive Communications!”, as well as “I Feel Good, PST!”.
Make sure to answer the questions at the bottom of this page and write your essay before moving on to the next lesson which is Appreciation
In life, we all get stuck in problems or situations from time to time we don’t want to confront. And when this happens, not only does it make us uncomfortable, it also shakes us emotionally. As a result, we experience this wave of intense emotions that make the situation even worse. Emotions like anger, fear, envy, hatred, guilt, and many more, surround us doing more harm than good.
But, do you think a person brimming with all sorts of negative emotions can make a sensible decision? Do you think a person who is approaching a problem emotionally instead of logically can come to a rational conclusion?
The answer is no, he can’t. Why?
Because his judgment becomes clouded with his emotions. Instead of approaching the situation logically, he gets tangled in them and fails to think clearly. Instead of helping the person in a difficult situation, emotions add fuel to the fire.
According to Google: Subjective: Based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions.
Being Neutral: Not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts.
Hence, when the result of the situations fails to be in his favor, these emotions get a strong boost, they intensify.
Now imagine another scenario. You get stuck in a situation, and you think logically. Instead of getting intoxicated by the emotional cocktails, you keep them aside while approaching the problem. What do you think will happen now? Won’t you be able to solve the situation in a better manner?
The situation is difficult in both scenarios, yet the outcomes vary. There is only one difference between the two. The difference of approach.
While one approach allows emotions and biases to take over, the other one restricts the use of emotions. The first uses subjectivity while the other one uses Being Neutral to solve the problem.
So, what exactly is Being Neutral?
Being Neutral is thinking without your emotions, biases, and presumptions. It is seeing and comprehending a situation as it is.
Let’s use an example to understand this further.
Imagine two people having a heated discussion. Both are unwilling to understand each other’s perspectives, both are justifying their sides furiously and both are reluctant to find a middle ground. Now imagine a third person entering the conversation. A person who doesn’t have any biases or any personal feelings towards the discussion. He sees the situation, analyses the perspectives of both sides, concludes, and moves on with his life.
That is exactly what Being Neutral is. Being Neutral is seeing a situation without emotional lenses. Not good, not bad, but as it is. It’s about not allowing your reasoning to become crippled by emotions, feelings or biases. It’s about allowing yourself to take a step back, zoom out, analyze the situation and do what needs to be done.
Differences between being neutral and Subjective.
The key differences between being neutral or subjective is that of emotional dependency, personal biases, feelings, perceptions, etc. For example, saying that someone has hazel green eyes is being neutral. It’s a fact. There are no emotions involved in this statement. But saying that a person has the most beautiful hazel green eyes is a matter of subjectivity. It’s a matter of choice, likes, dislikes and so much more.
Let’s understand the difference between them with another example.
A newly hired employee puts up with the rude behavior of his boss because he feels that if he completes his work early, multitasks, and takes on more responsibilities, his boss will start liking him. But the boss doesn’t change. He still uses his position to humiliate him, mistreat him, and in addition to this, he dumps all the work on him.
The employee’s opinion here is subjective. He is putting up with everything just because his judgment is heavily influenced by his feelings. Even though he is completely aware that his boss is wrong, he refuses to take a stand because of his presumptions.
Now imagine the same scenario. The newly hired employee goes to the office, he sees the work culture, observes the behavior of his boss, and notices that his coworkers are miserable. He knows that the workplace is not up to his standards. He knows he doesn’t want to be mistreated.
What do you think he’ll do? He’ll start making arrangements, he’ll start applying for other jobs, and after he gets that new job, he’ll move on with his life. Yes, it will be inconvenient, and it will be risky. But he’ll still have a solid shot at being a part of a better functioning workplace.
We often cling to old things, toxic people, and degrading jobs that suck the life out of us in the hope of a better future. When a person practice Being Neutral, things become easier. He knows that overthinking won’t solve his problems and hence he perceives the situation without any presumptions. Imagine if we all could put our emotions aside, stop, take a step back, and see the whole situation from a third-person perspective.
How to cultivate being neutral?
The reason why many people fail to cultivate this habit is because Being Neutral is difficult. It’s because everyone is the protagonist, the main character of their own story! Hence it becomes hard to zoom out and not cling to emotions. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. With practice, this habit can be cultivated. The following steps will help you move towards a better life:
Keep a clear mindset: Next time you come across a difficult situation, try to keep a clear mindset and refrain from indulging in emotions.
Stop overthinking: Most of the time, we label a situation as a difficult one, not because it’s really difficult, but because we have overdeveloped it in our heads because we overthink.
Take a break: If you find yourself overthinking, take a break. Go for a walk, play with your dog, take a hot shower, or make some comforting tea. Taking a break from a situation helps you lessen its impact. As a result, when you get back to the situation, you become equipped with calm mind and a fresh perspective.
Follow your own advice: If we could all start following the advice we give to our friends, wouldn’t our lives be so much better? Next time you get stuck in a situation, ask yourself the question, “What would I suggest to a friend in this situation?”
Please write an essay, up to two pages, about a past experience you or someone you know were not being neutral. Tell us in detail, who, what, when, where, why, to whom, the time, the place of what you did. The outcome! And tell us in detail how you could have changed that use from what you learned today so the outcome would have been good. Internalize this lesson. Make it become a part of you. Share your story in the “Forums”.
Our advice is for you to practice “Being Neutral” for at least a week. Tell others around you to point out any event in which you didn’t. Have them hold you accountable. Visit the “Forum” and do a “CONFESSION”.
What is a “CONFESSION”? A CONFESSION IS WHEN YOU’VE DISPLAYED A WRONG BEHAVIOR AND WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEERS, OR EVEN BY YOU. VISIT THE “FORUM” AND TELL US ABOUT IT. WE WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK! MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT “CONFESSION” FOR MORE DETAILS! FURTHERMORE, BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FORUM AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO OTHERS. “That’s how you gain practice in becoming a CERTIFIED LIFE COACH!
Read the article? Time for introspection!
1. Do you also get tangled in emotions while dealing with situations? Why do you think that happens?
2. While having an argument with someone, do you try to understand the perspective of that person, or do you try to justify your side without listening to the other person?
3. Have you ever put up with an abusive relationship because you kept telling yourself things will get better? How do you feel about it today?
4. Do you face challenges while letting go of toxic relationships? Why do you think that happens?
5. Would you like to cultivate objectivity? What steps are you planning to take?
This module includes the following:
- Why Become a Life Coach
- Open Mindedness
- Being Neutral
- Attitude Check & Confession
- I Feel Good, PST™
There is no way any relationship will survive without having the qualities mentioned above.
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate.
I am thankful that you have given me this opportunity to share all of this with you. May God bless you and bring prosperity and peace into your life.
George Tannous, PhD
This is Where Confessions, Attitude Checks, Accountability, Give and Receive Feedback Comes in. Practice for Your Own Practice!
Once you have completed this entire journey, you will be issued a Life Coach Certificate. Must participate in our Forums to get certified! You’ll achieve your internship by joining and partcipating in our “Forums”.
Well, you might be asking yourself “How am I going to get practice for my practice?” Great question and I thought you’ll never ask!
#1 You are part of a group with the same interests.
#2 You have a question in regards to one of your clients and we are here to help you.
#3 Others have questions and you can give feedback and help them.
#4 You need to do a confession.
#5 And much more.
You Are Never Alone! Join the Forums!